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StigmataMartyr42
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Name: Juanus Fragorum
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Grand Rapids
Birthday: 4/28/1980
Gender: Male
Interests: reading (Thomas Harris, Irvine Welsh, Anne Rice, Dan Brown, Anthony Burgess, etc.), writing, listening to and making music, cooking, baking cakes (honest!), hanging out with friends, participating in deviant behavior, studying, camping, swimming, basketball, soccer, tutoring biology and spanish, living, sleeping...and it goes on and on.
Expertise: writing essays, research papers, sociology, psychology, reading between the lines (except when it comes to women that I find attractive! grrr), reading people (what some would call a sixth sense, or a good ear for bullshit), is that enough? Seriously, if you ever meet me in person you will find that I am a lovely person.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  StigmataMartyr42
Yahoo:  juanmora428
Member Since:
3/28/2005
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| Holy crap it's been years since I have used my xanga.
And it will be another few before I make an actual post.
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| The mania shines in small lapses of time. I can’t help it and I could care less. Self destruction at its best, like an epiphany in light (jm: or even better, a shadow in light redefined). Life is so absurd, so silly. How do you feel about your sudden success? At precisely midnight on the night of her greatest triumph, the party of the first part, that’s you, agrees to render her soul now and forever more to the party of the second part, that’s me. Shall we go? Pay the bill, taste the wine and all that shiite.
Sometimes when I am driving I get so damn sleepy and the dreams just won’t stop coming at me so I open the window and smoke a cigarette to make that dreadful feeling go away. Cigarettes themselves sometimes give me a different kind of dreadful feeling, with the paranoia and ensuing headrush. You said you’d come to church with me and then spoke nothing of it. We made so many different plans yet we can’t see each other freely. Still, I know you also think about me. My hair is a mess, just how I like it. Maybe I should call the ex so she could hook up my bangs extra special. I feel like screaming, but when I am provoked I don’t let it get to me. Cool as a cucumber, that’s me. If I don’t go crazy I’ll lose my mind. It’s just like the theory of the double bladed sword. And I, I made my own house be my gallows.
Anything, dears, anything can be connected, if only one was so inclined to make the connection. But it takes much more than logic to interweave that which seems irrelevant. I love it and I love you all. I hear that mentally ill people know things that others do not. I’d love to experience that firsthand, but alas I cannot. Since I am a positive individual, I always come out on top, it’s just that good situations and experiences put me in a state of bliss that is just too much sometimes. Sometimes I talk too much, sometimes I daydream too much. The perpetual daydream, another concept I want to work into some of my writings. Betty Taylor Bliss should make a surprise resurrection and the New York Story will continue, she being a manifested agent of the universe. I could tell the story through the eyes of various people. I just want to help you. Will you allow it? Time flies when you’re having fun. When is it going to begin? When will I commence with the self-destruction?
Even so, we all have our moments of weakness. Wallow in the depths of despair with me please my dears? My life sometimes consists of masques. I have to hide the unsavory aspects of my personality and depressions and such because if I don’t then my friends will stop talking to me. Manic happy sublime delight, that’s me. I think they have already stopped talking to me. I sure hope so because that means the word is out. I already knew the word was out. I wear masques all the time, since people are selfish and want you to present yourself to them as they like you. Generalizations will be the death of me…and I, I made my own house be my gallows. I’ve listened to “Sabbra Cadabra” over ten times in the past few days. I wonder why? Seeing you tonight hunched over in drunken despair (?), I wish I was the one taking you home. No time for the old in out, I’ve gotta finish cleaning these windows.
Commence with the festivities. Fagged, hashed, and fashed I have become. My scars are showing. The show will go on.
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| I can’t stop thinking about you. You asked me if I ever even thought about you. For awhile it seemed like you were the only person I thought about, but I didn’t want to infringe on what you already had. Of course I think about about even still, because why else do you think I was hanging around with you all night and all day practically, despite anyone else? You helped me get through some strange moments in my life…but I will not elaborate. You know I want you and only you, and we are ideal for each other. You have been all I think about since we last parted and I can’t wait until the next time I can be at your side.
EDIT//:: It is now Sunday afternoon, and I haven't had time to talk with this person alone. Still, seeing her is always fun and I know she's thinking about me. Last night at work, where we were severely understaffed, everyone was yelling and being pissy. I, on the other hand, was calm and took everyone's shiite. I don't even bother with any of that fucking hassle anymore.
Thinking of you.
Pay the bill, taste the wine and all that jazz. I love you all. | | |
| One would not believe how insanely happy I have become.
I love you all. | | |
| If you want to talk, my AIM is stigmatamartyr42.
Cheers. | | |
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